


the four times it isn't akashi and the one time it is

by pepesaiko



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-03 01:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4081765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepesaiko/pseuds/pepesaiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kuroko falls in love four times before realizing what's been in front of him the entire time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WOAHH omg i hope you enjoy! i legit wrote this in 10 hours nonstop WAHH ;_; it's unbeta'd so please excuse any mistakes.  
> constructive critiscism, kudos and comments are always accepted ^^ Thank you and enjoy!!:~)

 

 

**1//**

It’s at around 2am when the knock at his door comes. It’s not an unusual time in Akashi’s apartment, as he occasionally stays up until the early hours of the morning reading or studying. It is, however, unusual to receive a visitor for him in these hours. He grabs a sweater from a hook and peers into the corridor. The knocking continues, so Akashi gradually opens the door.

                “Kuroko?” he says, a bit incredulously. Kuroko Tetsuya was his next door neighbor, but they’ve never said so much more as a ‘hello’ in the entire semester. So it comes as a speculation when the blue haired boy shows up at his door at 2 am.

                “Can I come in, Akashi-kun?” Kuroko says, his voice sounding strangely small. Akashi nods and holds the door for Kuroko to come in. The shorter male has a hood over his head so his face is hidden from Akashi’s view. He leads them to his kitchen. “Tea?” he asks. Kuroko nods so Akashi starts making some green tea for them. It’s quiet and Akashi knows better than to ask people about their problems, but rather waiting for them to tell him themselves.

                “Here you go,” he says, placing a cup in front of Kuroko. Kuroko mumbles a ‘thank you’ and takes a sip. They’re silent, save the hum of the kitchen lights and Akashi’s generator. “I’m sorry for the intrusion,” Kuroko says after a while, refusing to meet Akashi’s eyes, making Akashi think if he’s actually sorry at all. “It’s no problem, I was awake, anyways,” he replies.

                Kuroko fidgets with his mug, opens his mouth to say something but closes it and stays quiet. Akashi watches him while drinking from his cup. Even after all this time, it’s still so hard to read him. They’ve never been close but Akashi has absolutely no idea who Kuroko Tetsuya really is. A lot of people know Akashi, and he’s not just being conceited, his father is well known and he’s definitely well off, but the most Akashi knows about Kuroko is that he’s taking classes in the education department. They’ve mostly just said ‘hi’ or ‘how was your day?’ to each other if they had seen the other when going into their respective apartments.

                “My boyfriend just broke up with me,” he finally blurts out. Akashi’s tea goes down the wrong throat and, embarrassingly, he starts a coughing fit right in front of Kuroko. Kuroko’s eyes widen as he rushes to the other side of the table and pats Akashi’s back. When the coughing asides, Kuroko looks more uncomfortable than ever. “I’m sorry, that was too much information…,” he says uneasily.

                “No, it’s fine. I don’t care about sexualities. It was just…a surprise,” Akashi says in a strained voice, clearing his throat. Well, if it wasn’t awkward before, it’s sheer tension and uncomfortableness now.

                “I- I should go,” Kuroko says, getting up and bowing but Akashi holds him back. He knows Kuroko’s feeling very uncomfortable, but their relationship (if he can even use that word) would get even weirder if he just let him go.

                “Stay, I’ll listen,” he says, pushing Kuroko back into his seat. So, Kuroko reluctantly starts talking. By the end of Kuroko’s story of how his boyfriend, Kagami Taiga (a fellow classmate of Akashi’s, surprisingly), broke up with him over a phone call, they’re both planning the end of Kagami’s life.

                When Kuroko gets up to leave, he surprises Akashi with a hug. “Thanks for listening, Akashi-kun,” Akashi is a bit flustered with his response of, “No problem,” but if Kuroko catches on, he doesn’t say anything. Kuroko leaves with a smile and Akashi is left with one puzzle piece to Kuroko Tetsuya.

 

 

**2//**

                 Akashi and Kuroko get much closer after the first occurrence, and soon they’re spending every hour with each other. After classes, Kuroko would come over to Akashi’s flat or vice versa and Akashi would help him with studying or they would just talk. Which is what they were doing right now.

                “You know, you’ve never told me why you came to _my_ house out of everyone the Kagami night,” Akashi speculates from his abode on Kuroko’s bed. Kuroko hums, and then proceeds to pretend he hasn’t heard him and continues to read his textbook. Akashi leans over and flicks his forehead.

                “Ouch,” Kuroko says, shooting an annoyed look at Akashi who smirks in reply. “Fine, I’ll tell you,” he huffs. He rolls onto his side and looks up at Akashi with his head in his hand.

                “You seemed like a good listener,” he says and then rolls back. Akashi scoffs. “That’s it?”

                “What? Were you expecting something like “ _Oh! Akashi-sama will save me from the depths of my despair! He’ll be my knight in shining armor!””_ Kuroko says. Akashi frowns and throws a pillow at him. “Quit it with the –sama,” he says and Kuroko laughs.

                It’s a comfortable silence after that with Akashi looking through his notes and Kuroko doing his homework while humming a song that Akashi has heard several times through the radio.

                “So, I’ve been talking to someone, lately,” Kuroko finally says. Akashi looks up from his notes at Kuroko, wearily. “Someone, huh?” he says. Kuroko nods. “His name is Aomine Daiki and he’s on the basketball team. He’s really nice,” he says, more to himself than Akashi.

                Akashi looks at Kuroko again, assessing him and then nods slowly going back to work. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he says eventually.

                “I won’t”

 

* * *

 

 

The weeks after their finals, Kuroko has been dubbing Akashi for this so called ‘Aomine’. Every time Akashi calls him to confirm their plans for the day, Kuroko blows him off with “im sorry, next time I promise!” while Akashi grumbles an “its fine”.  Every morning they’re together itsAomine _this_ or Aomine _that._ Akashi probably knows more about Aomine than his mother at this point. He finds Kuroko talking about him, almost endearing.

When Kuroko first introduced him to Aomine he knew why he had fell for him. From everything Kuroko had told him about Kagami, it all showed up in Aomine. He _knew_ it wasn’t going to last but he smiled and waved the couple off anyways. He was being selfish but he craved Kuroko’s smile and he desperately wished that he’s wrong. He’s not.

 It’s around 8pm, that he gets a call from Kuroko. “Hello?” he answers. There’s music booming in the background and Kuroko finally answers with a slurred, “Akashiiii-kunnn.” Akashi frowns and gets up immediately. “Kuroko, where are you?” He asks.

 “I don’t knowww~,” he giggles and there’s another voice next to Kuroko’s saying “let’s go to the bedroom, tetsu”. Akashi’s eyes widens, and he’s out the door with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Kuroko, can you tell me what it looks like outside,” he asks urgently. He’s not about to let Kuroko get drunk and possibly have manipulated sex with a stranger. As expected of his luck, Kuroko giggles again and the phone cuts off. “Fuck!” Akashi curses, running to his car. He calls Kuroko several times, but it goes directly to message.

He drives around Tokyo until he reaches the local night club, which is his best luck in finding Kuroko. He gets out of his car and into the club in record speed, eyes scanning the room. Several hands try to grab at him but he pushes them away. Squinting through the dim lights, he thinks he sees a flash of pale hair and he pushes through sweaty bodies to get to Kuroko.

“Kuroko!,” he shouts over the pounding music, but the blue haired boy can’t hear him. That’s when he notices the man with Kuroko. He can’t see well in the lighting of the club but he recognizes the muscular build and tanned skin. He watches Aomine snake his hands into Kuroko’s shirt. A strange surge of anger builds up in Akashi and he pushes through the crowd to get to Kuroko. “Get off of him,” he glares at Aomine, pulling Kuroko away from him. Aomine and his crowd of friends get around him and Kuroko.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Aomine says, laughing, throwing and catching a small bottle in his hands before throwing it at Akashi. He catches it and reads the small writing on it. _Rohypnol._

“Maybe you can use it on him,” Aomine laughs along with his friends and Akashi smiles. He bows at Aomine before getting up and throwing a punch at his face. “Eat shit,” he sneers, before grabbing Kuroko and getting out of the club.

The ride to their apartment complex is quiet, mainly because Kuroko is passed out in the back seat and Akashi is seething in anger. He wonders how much of the drug they gave Kuroko. _God, He can’t let Kuroko out of his sight again._ He parks into their lot and slams the car shut, before lighting a cigarette. It’s the first one in months, but it calms him so he doesn’t do anything stupid. He looks down into the car at Kuroko’s sleeping form. God, if he was a second too late… He honestly doesn’t know what could’ve happened. Right now, he’s just happy Kuroko didn’t get hurt. Physically. He isn’t too sure how Kuroko will feel emotionally.

“Fuck it,” he sighs, crushing the cigarette under his shoe and pulls Kuroko out of the car before piggy-backing him into his apartment. He tucks him into his bed, and then he himself gets comfortable on the floor. It’s around 10 pm, but the light from outside streams through his curtains and illuminate Kuroko’s face. Akashi leans up, his head supported by his hand. From here, he can see Kuroko so clearly. His soft hair, the bangs framing his oval face (perhaps too much, Akashi had been pestering him for a haircut he so needed), his smooth, pale skin and the slight part of his lips. His cheeks are dusted with a shade of a pink, possibly from his drunken state.

 _He looks beautiful. {1} _Akashi has no idea how long he looked at Kuroko but he knows it feels endless. He goes to sleep facing Kuroko.

Kuroko cries the next morning. He’d found the rohypnol on the kitchen table. _I really am a useless man,_ Akashi thinks as he holds Kuroko.

 It takes a while before Kuroko’s smile returns but Akashi only hopes that this time, it stays.

 

 

**3//**

                  The rest of the summer is spent with the two of them going on a roadtrip to Kyoto where Akashi’s home was. However, it proved to be not so fun as most of it was spent with them lying on the floor, half naked, sweltering in the Kyoto heat.

                “Akashi-kun, you promised this would be fun,” Kuroko whines from the floor. Akashi huffs, turning the fan to face him instead of Kuroko’s limp body. The blue haired boy makes a strangled noise before getting up and flopping himself over Akashi’s legs, generating a weird flutter in Akashi’s stomach.

                “Sorry,” he mutters weakly. Kuroko rolls over so his back is on top of Akashi’s thighs. “Don’t be sorry,” he says, smiling up at Akashi with the same ferocity as the sun. _God, he’s so beautiful._ Akashi looks away, the pounding in his heart returning. He gently takes Kuroko’s head off of his thigh and excuses himself from the room as Kuroko hums another song, closing his eyes. He tiptoes into the bathroom, closing the door before sinking down to the floor.

                He has to stop these feelings before they get too dangerous. He sighs, closing his eyes and trying to take Kuroko out of his mind. A knock on the bathroom door interrupts him. “Akashi-kun,” Kuroko’s voice sounds quiet. “Yeah?” he calls out, softly.

                “I never really got around to it…but thank you,” he says. They both know why he’s thanking him, so there’s no bother even asking. Akashi’s heart is ready to beat out of his rib cage and he clutches his shirt, digging his fingers into his chest. “It’s fine,” he replies, softly. _No, it’s not._ He listens to the soft toes walk away and he runs a hand through his hair. Realizing a problem is the first step to its solution, and realization has finally dawned on him. He’s in love with Kuroko.

The start of their second year in college brought yet more pounding hearts and fluttering stomachs to Akashi. He found himself getting lower test grades because every time he went over to Kuroko’s to study, he’d be looking at the blue haired boy the entire time. But it was all a vain attempt, because he’d never be able to make Kuroko happy, he knows that. He stops going to Kuroko’s house to study, making up an excuse of him being sick.

It’s during lunch at  the college, when he spots the two of them. Kuroko and a tall blonde man. He’s seen the blonde before, Kise Ryota, if he recalls. He’s well known as a model but that’s all he knows about him. So when he sees Kise and Kuroko eating lunch together, an unfamiliar pang of pain shoots at Akashi. “Stop that,” he mutters, ignoring the weirded looks of passerby. He watches the two of them walk until they find a table to sit down in. Akashi is assessing Kise of any ulterior motives that when he glances at Kuroko he’s almost blown away by the intensity of his smile. The sight warms his heart and he looks at Kuroko with a fond expression on his face.

“Yo, Akashi,” a voice calls out to him. Akashi turns around to face Nijimura Shuzo, his senior in the business and finance department. Nijimura walks up to him, hands in pockets and nods toward Kuroko. “You into him or something?” Akashi swallows something bitter.

He nods, carefully. “Then get it,” Nijimura laughs and slaps his back. “Not that simple,” Akashi smiles, bitterly.

Nijimura shrugs, then leaves. He stays for a couple more minutes, watching the two of them. He thinks of how easily Kuroko can date someone. How he can devote all his time and energy to someone. _If he could do that to everyone else then why not me?_ He’s being bitter and he hates it. He hates how he’s mad at Kuroko and not himself.

 

* * *

 

He starts dating a guy. His name’s Mayuzumi Chihiro and he’s in his ethics class. He forgets if it was him who approached the gray-haired teen or vice versa. He brings Mayuzumi into his flat one day and one thing leads to another and suddenly he’s attacking him with his lips. Akashi tries, _he tries_ but he feels nothing. Mayuzumi’s tongue feels foreign and slimy in his mouth but he goes along with it, wrapping his arms around his neck, trying to feel _something, anything_ until a strained cough breaks them apart. Akashi looks up through hooded eyes at Kuroko. He immediately straightens up and pushes Mayuzumi off him.

“S-sorry, I’ll leave,” Kuroko says, color riding high in his cheeks. “Wait, Kuroko, I’m sorry,” Akashi says, his heart pounding, and not because of the heavy make out session he just had. Kuroko gives him a startled look before leaving out the front door.

Akashi curses under his breath and turns to glare at Mayuzumi, who’s leaning against the wall, smirking at Akashi knowingly. “Did you just date me to get him jealous or something?” he says.

“No,” Akashi spits, but doesn’t know why he’s so angry. “Alright,” Mayuzumi says, holding his hands up. “If it doesn’t go your way, my door is open,” he lilts and leaves his apartment. Akashi stares at his door for a while after Mayuzumi leaves. He isn’t sure if he fucked up _really_ bad or just pretty bad.

After debating with himself for another ten minutes, he goes next door to Kuroko’s. Unsurprisingly, his door is open, despite the many times Akashi had told him about locking it to which Kuroko would protest, _“It’s only ever you that comes into my house without knocking, Akashi-kun!”_  Akashi sighs. It was so much easier falling in love than out.

He stands in front of the bedroom door he had so many times barged in without knocking, and now he’s hesitant. He puts up a fist and knocks, three hard times. The door opens a moment later with Kuroko looking at him with wide eyes. “Oh! Akashi-kun,” he smiles and opens the door. _He doesn’t look like he’s uncomfortable, so that’s a plus._ Akashi plops down on the floor next to the pile of papers which he assumes is Kuroko’s study session.

“Listen, I’m really sorry you were there during that…incident. I broke up with him so-,” he’s cut off with a pillow thrown to his head. “Hey!,” he frowns but stops when he sees the look on Kuroko’s face. He looks _furious._

“How could you Akashi-kun? Why are you so selfless?” _Selfless, huh?_ Akashi’s eyes widen. “You’re not giving yourself a chance to be happy. I don’t want you to stick nagging over me, I want you to grow up and get married and be happy okay!” Kuroko says, his face red. Akashi’s silent.

“You think I’m nagging over you?” he starts, quietly. Kuroko’s stricken, as if realizing the impact of his words, “No- wait, I don’t-,”

“Kuroko, everything I’ve ever done, I do for you,” Akashi says in disbelief. _After all this time, and he thinks I’m nagging over him?_ This time, it’s Kuroko who’s quiet. “I know, Akashi-kun, I know,” he says, almost inaudibly. He and Kuroko are alike in this way. They’re silent fighters. There’s no harsh words but the silence is sometimes just as hurtful.

“Give him a chance, Akashi-kun. Even if he’s not the one, there are more fish in the sea,” he says, offering a smile. Akashi nods numbly, not even bothering to fight back. He gets up and leaves without another word.

He lights up a cigarette that night.

 

* * *

 

The next day, they’re back to normal. If Kuroko doesn’t seem him around Mayuzumi often he doesn’t say anything, which Akashi is grateful for. Kise and Kuroko hang out more often, but this time Akashi’s in the mix.

“So, Kise, Kuroko’s nice right?” Akashi pries, as soon as Kuroko leaves the room. He’s assessing Kise, like how a father assess’ his daughter’s boyfriend. Kise seems bubbly and way too excited for this question.

“Kurokocchi is _soo_ nice! Like how today we were at the café and he offered to pay for our food, but of course I was like ‘No way Kurokocchi! I can pay for us’ and then he blushed it was so cute,” Kise gushes. Akashi finds his weird way of adding –cchi to everyone’s name annoying. Kise’s phone buzzes and Akashi watches as he picks up and brightens. “Hi, Kasamatsu-san! - Yeah I’m fine…ooh tonight? Yes!- love you too bye!,” he says and Akashi feels his stomach drop. “Kise was that your boy-“he says but Kuroko cuts in, walking in with a plate of cookies.

“I made cookies for all of us!” Kuroko says and Akashi swallows the bile in his throat as he watches Kuroko look at Kise with _love_ in his eyes. He’s jealous, he admits it, and he’s straight up jealous and the pang of hurt stings more when he watches Kise give Kuroko less than half the attention he’s giving him. He wants to shake Kise and tell him, _no, beg him_ to pay attention to the beautiful boy that’s utterly in _love_ with him, wants to tell him to make him happy and always make him smile, never make him cry or angry, and be just as loving to him that he is to you.

Akashi waits until Kise to leave before turning to Kuroko. He opens his mouth when Kuroko turns to him, his face broken down, and tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I heard,” he says. Akashi nods, the _I told you so_ is left in the air. Kuroko falls down onto the kitchen floor, holding his knees up to his chest and Akashi follows him.

“Am I incapable of finding love?” he asks, sounding distraught. Akashi shakes his head. “Am I ugly?” Akashi shakes his head, the same pain digging into his chest, allowing no air to pass through his lungs. _No, you’re absolutely breathtaking._ “Am I not good enough?” he says, sounding exhausted, and Akashi wonders how many smiles he’s faked since Kagami, since before he met him.

“There are more fish in the sea,” he mumbles weakly. _Open your eyes Kuroko, I’m right here, I’ll love you more than anyone else._ Kuroko nods, numbly before getting up to leave. Akashi takes it as his cue to head back home. He goes back home, the sight of Kuroko’s broken down face wreaking havoc in his heart.

 

 

**4//**

It’s nearing the end of their second year when Akashi catches Kuroko staring at a certain brunette. It’s during a lunch period when Akashi is the only one talking while Kuroko is staring to his left at the boy. Akashi leans over to flick Kuroko in the forehead, who in return lets out a whine. The flutter of his stomach returns.

 “Well? Aren’t you going to talk to him?” Akashi says, in between a mouthful of onigiri. Kuroko blushes. “I just think he’s cute…I know nothing about him,” he mumbles. _Don’t talk to him then, he’s not even in any of your classes._ “Just go up to him, you’ll never know someone if you don’t talk to them.” Kuroko nods, absentmindedly.

So Akashi, crestfallen, watches as Kuroko gets up and goes to where Ogiwara Shigehiro is sitting, watches as Kuroko sits down next to them, watches both of them laugh and walk off together, watches as Kuroko never looks back at him.

Akashi crushes the juice box in his hand, furiously sucking the apple juice from its contents. “Still crushing hard, huh Akashi?” a voice says, making Akashi snort out apple juice. He turns to glare at the intruder. Nijimura smirks at him before taking the seat next to him. Akashi scoffs. “It’s that Kuroko kid isn’t it? Nice one he is, cute too,” he winks, grabbing a French fry from Akashi’s plate.

Akashi doesn’t respond instead goes back to drowning in self sorrow. “Thought you two were dating actually,” Nijimura says, looking at Akashi curiously. Akashi laughs bitterly. _Ha, I wish._  

“Why do you keep following me anyways,” Akashi says, exasperated. “I like to catch up on my adorable kouhai’s life,” he says, holding up a peace sign. “Shut the fuck up,” Akashi mutters.

“It’s been a year Akashi, if you’re not gonna bag that Kuroko kid, I’m gonna do it myself,” Nijimura jokes. Akashi shoots him a glare that has him close his mouth immediately. “At least go to the topic of him dating you, eh?” Nijimura says, patting his back before leaving. Akashi hums a reply.

 

* * *

“What kind of guys do you date anyways?” Akashi says, trying to sound nonchalant when in reality he had practiced that one line for at least thirty minutes.

“What an odd question,” Kuroko laughs. “Anyone that can make me happy, I guess.” Another lump forms in Akashi’s throat. They’re in Kuroko’s living room, watching movies and reviewing for finals. “That makes me a candidate huh?” Akashi jokes nervously. Kuroko looks at Akashi thoughtfully before laughing. “Yeah, I guess it does.” Kuroko furrows into Akashi’s side for the rest of the movie and if he feels Akashi’s rapid heartbeat under his sweater, he doesn’t say anything.

 

* * *

 

Ogiwara is probably the best boyfriend Kuroko has had so far, if Akashi says so himself. They’ve been together for 2 months now, and it’s been Ogiwara _this and_ Ogiwara _that_ (which is what Kuroko had said with Aomine) and they’ve been eating lunch more often (which is what Kuroko did with Kise). Akashi and Kuroko barely see each other anymore. Ogiwara always has him out on dates or sleepovers and Akashi is left home, alone. In fact, he’s _so_ alone he has to resort to inviting Nijimura to his flat.

“Just so you know, I wouldn’t have done this if I wasn’t so bored,” he grumbles from the couch while Nijimura cheerfully eats from the bag of chips. They’re watching a random anime on TV since there is literally nothing else to watch.

“I know you just want to spend time with your senpai, Akashi,” Nijimura says, looking at him in disappointment. Akashi throws a pillow at him. “You should get a job, meet some hunnies to distract you from Kuroko,” Nijimura says. Akashi snorts. “As if,” he mutters.

“Young love,” Nijimura says whistling. It’s quiet, save for the television until Nijimura speaks up again. “Ya, remember that girl I kept moaning about?” Akashi quirks a brow in his direction. “Momoi Satsuki?”

“Yeah, anyways I heard something weird from her boyfriend, Aomine-“Akashi clenches his fist in anger, “- I heard that he dated Kuroko before, weird huh? He’s so popular and shit and Kuroko… well he’s just Kuroko,” Nijimura laughs.

“I beg to differ,” Akashi says, eyeing Nijimura. “Anyways, he was telling me how whenever he went out with Kuroko, he’d always talk about you, funny right? Going out with your boyfriend and ending up talking about your neighbor the entire time?” Nijimura laughs. “Yeah...” Akashi says. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He should never. The rest of the day is spent with him and Nijimura marathoning High School DXD.

 

* * *

 

Their summer is spent nicely. Kuroko and Ogiwara go on dates and often bring Akashi with him. It’s enjoyable on Akashi’s part because he seldom feels like he’s third-wheeling. Every so often he feels a pang of jealousy when Ogiwara leans over to kiss Kuroko but he hides it deep within his mind. It’s a day with clear blue skies does Akashi’s heart really break.

“I lost my virginity yesterday,” Kuroko says and Akashi’s smiling but he can’t hold it anymore and the dam inside him breaks. His smile fails him and he turns away from Kuroko. “That’s great! He didn’t hurt you did he?” he says, trying hard to sound supportive but he feels like someone took a hammer and smashed his insides into pulp.

“No, it was fine,” Kuroko answers. Akashi doesn’t want to see the look on Kuroko’s face but he’s glad he isn’t rubbing salt on the wound because he really wishes Kuroko would give his heart a break. He _knows_ it’s impossible. He can’t ever have Kuroko but just the _teeniest_ part of him dreams about a life where him and Kuroko could be together, where Kuroko was his first kiss and not a trashy make out session from Mayuzumi, where Kuroko was his first time and not some random girl at a college party, a life where him and Kuroko grow up together and where Kuroko actually loves him back.

“Akashi-kun, I want to break up with him,” Kuroko says, and he looks lost and confused. _Yes! Break up with him! Please!_ “Kuroko, why? You’re happy with him. You’ve been the happiest with him,” Akashi says instead, desperately hoping Kuroko doesn’t hear the waver in his voice.

“I know, it’s ridiculous and Ogiwara-kun is amazing but- I’m not happy,” Kuroko says, pulling his knees to his chest. A deep wave of sadness and anger washes over Akashi. “How can you be so selfish?” Akashi clips out, brokenly. Kuroko’s eyes widen at his sudden change in emotion.

“Don’t you know there are people who care about you? That there are people who want to see you happy? How could you let them down?” He says, the lump in his throat refusing to pass. “I know, but I don’t think he’s the one, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko sighs.

That’s when Akashi crosses the line. He’s fed up with Kuroko finding the love of his life and always _always_ looking over him. Akashi, who always holds Kuroko through heartbreaks, who feeds him soup when he’s sick, who locks Kuroko’s front door to protect him, who helps him study through finals, who’s always there for him. “You’re a real heartbreaker, Kuroko Tetsuya,” he laughs bitterly before leaving.

He can hear Kuroko crying through the thin walls of the complex that night.

 

* * *

 

Akashi goes over to Kuroko’s flat at 3am. He feels like someone took a knife and cut him into pieces and then cut those little pieces into even more pieces. Maybe Kuroko can hold him through a heart break this time. He opens the front door slowly, then closing it before walking into Kuroko’s bedroom.

Kuroko is sleeping so he nudges his small form before his eyelids flutter open. He looks startled, then sad, and apologetic. “I feel like shit, Kuroko” Akashi whispers in the dark. Kuroko nods and moves over in the bed so Akashi can lie down with him. The sheets smell like the vanilla that forever clings onto Kuroko’s skin and of Tokyo right after a thunderstorm.

 “I’m really sorry for today. I’ve been a terrible person to you, I always take you for granted and I’m so sorry if I’ve ever made you feel bad,” Kuroko says solemnly, fingers running through Akashi’s hair. Akashi hums against Kuroko’s neck, arms wrapped around his chest. Kuroko’s chin taps against the top of his head and the fingers against his scalp are incredibly soothing.

“Akashi-kun has such nice hair,” Kuroko sighs. Akashi wishes he could stay like this forever. He wants to wake up next to Kuroko every day. Right now, he’s lost in bliss and the warmth of Kuroko’s arms. Kuroko’s rambling nonsense, but Akashi is content with where he is and soon falls asleep. Kuroko continues to run his fingers through soft, scarlet strands of hair. “You’re a really good friend, Seijuro,” he says quietly. He feels Akashi’s arms tighten around his waist and he doesn’t know if Akashi’s still awake but he hopes he heard that.

 

* * *

 

 Kuroko breaks up with Ogiwara the next day.

 

 

**5//**

The start of their senior year in college starts suddenly. Kuroko and Akashi don’t see each other often due to exams and deadlines and Kuroko has to work late at the café he works part-time in. Kuroko seldom sees Akashi due to the direction of their courses; his as a teacher and Akashi as an entrepreneur. _Akashi._ He’s been on Kuroko’s mind for the longest time.

He tells himself that Akashi only thinks of him as a friend but Kuroko is confused of what he feels for the red-head as well. Whenever Akashi smiles, his heart pounds strangely and whenever he says his given name, it feels like his insides turn into goo. The last time he had seen Akashi was two days ago, when they had breakfast together. After that it was work and classes. He missed seeing the redhead and he wondered what was up with him lately. The times they do get to talk, it’s mostly Kuroko. Akashi rarely talks about himself.

Kuroko yawns while cleaning the counter. The clock on the wall reads 11:00 in angry red letters. He’s been working for about 5 hours.  He leans over the counter scanning the empty coffee shop in false hope a customer will come in to keep him busy. He’s dozing off when a tap on his head jolts him out of his nap.

“Yes! How can I help you?” He says loudly, surprised until he looks to see who had awakened him. He huffs as Akashi laughs. His stomach flutters when he takes in Akashi’s appearance. His red hair had gotten longer since their second year of college and stress from working and classes had caused his cheeks to sink in, but not in a bad way. Kuroko had to look away to keep himself from blushing.

“Aaaaah, Akashi-kun, have you come to pick me up from my despair,” Kuroko says, busying himself with counting the money from the register. “I actually came to order a drink, but I can work with that too,” he jokes and Kuroko leans over the register to flick him across the forehead but Akashi’s crazy good reflexes have him dodging it so now they’re lips are a millimeter apart from each other. If Kuroko can lean in just a little more- Akashi laughs nervously and leans away. They’re both a little awkward at first until Akashi orders a lemonade.

“How do you come into a coffee shop and order a lemonade,” Kuroko murmurs. “I do what I like!” Akashi yells from his seat. “Sh! Keep it down, this place echoes,” Kuroko says, shooting the redhead a glare which prompts him to belt out the opening to Doraemon as loud as he can. Kuroko can’t help but laugh at his wild behavior. He has himself to thank for that. He can remember a time when they first started college, where Akashi was quiet and behaved and smart. Not that he isn’t behaved and smart now, but he’s recently just started _living. God knows what it was like back when he was with his father._ He’s thankful he met Akashi.

Kuroko joins him in on the second chorus as he plops down on the seat across from him with two lemonades. “Are you gonna charge yourself for that?” Akashi asks, gesturing to the free drink he made for himself. “It’s on the house,” Kuroko smiles, sipping at the sour beverage.

“How’s economics?” Kuroko asks. Akashi makes a face. “Horrible, but I’m at the top of my class so its whatever,” he shrugs playfully. “Youre so conceited!” Kuroko says, slapping at his hand. His breath get caught in his throat when Akashi takes his hand and joins them with his. It’s quiet and Kuroko looks down at their joined hands, Akashi’s long fingers wrapped around Kuroko’s small slender ones. Their skin tones two different shades of pale. Kuroko swallows.

 “Akashi-kun-,” he starts. He hates this. He hates _being in love with him._ He hates it because Akashi will quite literally give him the world if he wanted it and all Kuroko can give him is himself. “Tetsuya, you know what to call me,” he murmurs lowly. The feeling Kuroko gets when Akashi says his name like that can’t be described. It makes him feel like they’re lovers but that can’t ever happen.

Kuroko gulps again. “Seijuro-kun,” he starts shakily, but he can’t concentrate. Not when Akashi’s wide eyes are looking at him like that, not when his thumb is rubbing circles on the small of his wrist, and surely not when his heart is pounding away in his chest. He thinks he feels a little lightheaded. Because it’s Akashi. Akashi with his scarlet hair and his crazy red eyes, Akashi with his warm hands and even warmer arms, Akashi with his ability to read right through Kuroko, Akashi whom Kuroko has loved before he even knew he loved him. _Fuck it._

“I love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. Akashi looks startled. Kuroko feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and suddenly he’s crying.

“Oh _God,_ It’s always been you, hasn’t it? Since that very first day, Ak- _Seijuro._ You were always there,” His voice is wobbling and his chest is heaving. He hasn’t cried like this since elementary school but it feels good, liberating. He feels Akashi holding him and Kuroko grasps onto him, afraid that if he lets go Akashi will be gone. “I love you, Tetsuya,” He hears Akashi mumble in his ear.

It pains him to know Akashi loved him so much longer than he knew he had. He stayed with him even though all Kuroko did was ignore him. That’s what makes him cry harder. So they stay there, crying and mumbling “ _I Love You’s_ ” to each other. It’s not the greatest confession, but it works.

 

**//2 years later//**

“Seijuro, wake up,” Kuroko mumbles, pushing his palm into Akashi’s face. “No,” Akashi mumbles, pulling Kuroko closer to him. “We have work,” Kuroko yawns, feeling alongside the bed for the alarm clock.

“Not today, Tetsuya. You forgot to reset the alarms, it’s Saturday,” Akashi says, huskily in his ear. ”Fuck,” Kuroko curses. Akashi laughs. “You’re such a bad influence on me, you know? I’ve never cursed once until I started dating you,” Kuroko huffs and pokes Akashi’s cheek.

“You love me,” Akashi says, kissing his cheek. “Don’t state the obvious, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko says, blushing. Even after all these years, small things like this will get to him. “How can you blush at a kiss on the cheek after what we did last night?” Kuroko throws a pillow at his face.

Some things never change.

_**fin.** _


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything in kuroko's pov save the last part which is in akashis pov (as promised)   
> i decided it would be fun to see everything in kurokos pov so...yeah i dont know what happened:^(

**1//**

Kuroko Tetsuya isn't sure how he ended up in front of Akashi Seijuro's flat at 2am in the morning but at this point he has nowhere else to go.

_"I'm sorry, Kuroko, it just wasn't working out...I barely have any time for a relationship anymore"_

When Kuroko first had received the phone call, it was all shouting and cursing into the cell phone. After a brutal 2 minute over-the-phone breakup, he had finally unleashed the pain of being dumped in the nicest way possible. _Kagami's a nice guy, it wasn't totally his fault_ , Kuroko thinks as he knocks on the door. Which leads him to think as to why in the world he's knocking on a random person's door.

Akashi isn't a stranger, he's just a person Kuroko would smile at occasionally or say the 'hello' now and then. But other than that, Kuroko hasn't said anything to the guy. BUT, he's seen the stoic red-head during his lunch period. While Kuroko sits with his friends from other classes, Akashi is usually seen with elder classmates, opting to read a book rather than talking. Kuroko has spied on the red head one too many times.

Kuroko exhales as he waits before knocking on the door again. _Honestly, what are you even thinking. It's 2:34 am_. _On a Monday_ , Kuroko thinks bitterly. He's about to turn away, hands in pockets when the door opens. He's a little surprised when Akashi speaks up.

"Kuroko?" He says, eyes wide. Kuroko takes a moment to take in his tired eyes and bathrobe before shamefully speaking. "Can I come in, Akashi-kun?" he says quietly. _Way to go with first impressions, Tetsuya._

Akashi nods, still surprised and Kuroko walks into the flat, holding his breath. While Akashi's back is to him, he takes in his surroundings. Just as he expected from the great Akashi Seijuro, his flat reflects his wealthy status. Kuroko is pretty sure the vanity he just walked across from is worth more than his oven and microwave together.

Akashi leads them to his kitchen, modernly designed, and Kuroko takes a seat across from them. Akashi offers him tea which Kuroko graciously accepts and that's when he feels the dull ache in his heart because Kagami used to cook for him and Kagami would always come over at 2 am to cheer him up.

He feels petty and disgusted at himself for feeling bad but he misses his boyfriend- er- ex-boyfriend. He sighs.

"Here you go," Akashi says, surprising him with the cup of warm tea.

"Thank you," Kuroko mumbles, taking a sip of the blissfulness. He's grateful that Akashi opened the door to him but he figures the poor guy deserves at least an explanation but Kuroko doesn't know how to tell him about his situation without sounding like the biggest loser ever.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion," he says at last, trying to stall. He feels Akashi's scarlet eyes boring into his skull and the nervousness sinks in because this was a man most uni students feared.

"It's no problem, I was awake, anyways," He replies without missing a beat and Kuroko swallows down his tea. He has no idea what to say. Should he lie and say his mother died or - even better- he can tell him he's been in love with him all this time and wanted to see him. Rejection, as fake as it may be, is better than the embarrassment of admitting a break-up. Honestly, Akashi is probably the straightest person he's ever seen, he probably wouldn't react properly to Kuroko being gay.

In the end, he figures, the truth always prevails. "My boyfriend just broke up with me," he says in one breath. Just his luck, Akashi starts a coughing fit, across from him, face going red and tears pricking his eyes. Kuroko, panicking, runs to his side and awkwardly pats his back _. Arghh, I knew it. He's a homophobe!_

"Sorry, I guess that was too much information," Kuroko laughs nervously, already inching towards the door.

"No-No it's fine. I don't care much about sexualities. It was just...a surprise," Akashi says, voice strained. Kuroko is quiet and the tension in the air is so thick he thinks he might be able to cut it with a knife.

"I-I think I should go," Kuroko blurts out in sheer tension and gets up, bowing but Akashi grabs onto his arm. _Aah fuck you Akashi!_ he curses internally, facing the red head again, shamefully.

"Stay, I'll listen," Akashi says, leading Kuroko back into his seat. Kuroko is a bit quiet at first because whenever did someone listen to him? He was always the black sheep of his family. He had nothing to give to the world. He was your most normal person ever and nothing worthwhile came out of listening to him. Akashi intrigued Kuroko. If it was any other person, he would've backhanded them so hard for even laying a finger on him. Maybe it was because of Akashi's social status or his attractiveness but Kuroko stayed.

He found himself spilling everything about Kagami to Akashi. He found himself spewing long exxagerated tales of times when Kagami used to ditch on him going on with every look of disbelief and pity on Akashi's face. He found it enjoyable to talk whilst having someone to listen to him.

In the end, when Kuroko is ready to leave, he surprises himself (and undoubtedly Akashi as well) with a hug. He's pleased when Akashi complies, tightening his grip around Kuroko's slim waist.

"Thanks for listening, Akashi-kun," he says, sincerely. He smiles when he notices the blush on Akashi's cheek. "No problem," Akashi mumbles. Kuroko leaves, minus one boyfriend but plus one new best friend.

 

 

**2//**

The most beautiful discovery Kuroko finds about friendship is with Akashi, he learns they can grow separately but not grow apart. After that one night, they're inseparable. During his years before college, any friendship Kuroko got himself into drove him mad, leaving him alone and depressed, taking care of their problems himself. His problem was that everyone took him from granted although Kuroko never understood why he let that happen. He liked to think of himself as strong and independent.

Even so, he enjoys his time with Akashi, they study together, talk about everything in the world, eat together and stay up until 4 in the morning watching old Japanese horror films together. It's comfortable and Kuroko feels at ease with the redhead. They're an odd group together. The wealthiest ,most popular student together with the university's most normal student. It's a rare pair but they don't get bashed for it.

"You know, you never told me why you came to my house out of everyone elses that one night," Akashi speculated, on top of Kuroko's twin sized bed. It's a small bed in the fairly large room but the rest of the room is filled with book shelves and large pillows, made to be a man cave although as Akashi had said so many times before "a giant pillow palace". He's over at Kuroko's house to study but so far all he's been doing is playing with Kuroko's stuffed animals and being on his phone.

Kuroko opts to amuse himself by pretending not to notice Akashi and turns back to his textbook. But Akashi catches the smile itching to reveal itself on Kuroko's lips and leans over to flick him across the forehead. Immediately the smile is replaces with a frown as he sticks his tongue out at the redhead. "That hurt," he mutters.

Akashi looks at him, waiting for an answer. It's not that Kuroko won't tell him, it's that he doesn't know how to. Frankly, it's pretty embarrassing itself.

"Fine, I'll tell you," he says, rolling himself over on the floor to look up at Akashi. "You seemed like a good listener,"

Akashi scoffs in disbelief. "That's it?"

“What? Were you expecting something like “ _Oh! Akashi-sama will save me from the depths of my despair! He’ll be my knight in shining armor_!””Kuroko laughs. It's true though. He admits, it was kind of creepy that he used to watch Akashi during lunch but he found himself mesmerized by the intense concentration Akashi put in certain things.

Akashi frowns and throws his favorite Hello Kitty plushie at him. "Quit it with the -sama," Kuroko laughs again and soon its a comfortable silence.

Akashi looks through his notes, humming a catchy Korean song that Kuroko had heard on the radio a couple of times. Kuroko himself looks over his ethics notes as well. He's reading over a passage on love when he realizes he had never told Akashi about Aomine.

Aomine Daiki was a freshman in college, the best power forward in college basketball and rumor had it, the NBA was going to recruit him the second he turned 22. Kuroko found himself crossing paths with the tall man during one of his lunch periods. One slip up and a messy "I'll pay for your t-shirt" later, they were having a date at a local coffee shop. It was nothing serious but Aomine's fierce dedication to basketball had Kuroko get all dreamy and heart eyes. He figures he ought to tell Akashi before it really does get serious.

"So," he starts, catching Akashi's attention at once, "I've been talking to someone lately," Akashi catches Kuroko's eyes, eyebrows raised. "Someone, huh?" he adds in a tone of voice, Kuroko can't recognize.

"Aomine Daiki. He's on the basketball team. He's really nice," although to Kuroko it's more of a confirmation to himself. It's quiet and Kuroko's about to burst until Akashi speaks up again.

"Don't hurt yourself," he says finally and Kuroko exhales.

 

"I wont"

>> 

Aomine takes him out on a date the next week. Kuroko is absolutely elated, his plans were to watch a movie at 8 and then grab dinner and play some basketball. He had spent the day at Akashi's stuffing his face in his pillows, squealing like a teenage girl.

"Yesterday, he said my eyes were beautiful, Akashi-kun. Are my eyes beautiful?" Kuroko sighs, curling up with one of the pokemon plushies. Akashi smiles at him, crosslegged on the floor. "They are"

Kuroko plops down on the bed again. He'd been ready since 7, deciding to wear a simple t-shirt and white jeans. He didn't want to be too flashy.

"And he has this adorable nickname for me, he calls me Tetsu, isn't that cute, Akashi-kun?" he says, eyes glazing over thinking about Aomine.

"Very cute,"

"Isn't he just the perfect guy, Akashi-kun?"

"Very perfect,"

Kuroko sits up. "Tell me the truth, Akashi-kun, is he really a good guy?" he asks, fidgeting with his hands. He wants to know if he's making a mistake.

Akashi is quiet. "Tetsuya- this guy waits an hour to pick you up from uni because he finishes class early, then drops you home even though he lives an hour away from the college," he says, raising an eyebrow but his tone of voice is small and unrecognizable, "he really is the perfect guy for you,"

Kuroko smiles, feeling heat rush to his cheeks. "He is, isn't he?" he says, looking at Akashi. Akashi looks back at him for a while before chuckling and turning back to his work.

"What about you?" he asks. He wonders if Akashi had a special somebody he was hiding from him.

"What about me?" Akashi hums. Kuroko scoffs, _he's hiding someone from me, his best friend?_ He grabs a charizard from the bed and chucks it at him. "You're lying to me, Akashi-baka!"

Akashi laughs. "No, i promise, if i even remotely thought someone was attractive to me, you'd be the first to know," he says, although his eyes tell another story,

Kuroko opens his mouth to speak but his phone rings. "Oh! That's Aomine-kun. Wish me luck, Akashi-kun," he waves to Akashi and runs out the door.

>> 

Kuroko watches Aomine as he spoons the ramen into his mouth. He holds the chopsticks right up to his mouth, which Kuroko finds amusing since AKashi holds his chopsticks from a mile away, saying it was _traditional._

"Aomine-kun knows Akashi-kun right?" he says, toying with his own ramen. Aomine nods his head, face stuffed with noodles.

"He always holds his chopsticks like this," he says, holding his chopsticks an arm length away, chuckling. Aomine cocks his head to the side.

"Weird guy," he mumbles, shoving plate after plate of noodles into his mouth. Kuroko thinks about Akashi and all his weird antics, and his eyes glaze over.

"Yeah,"

>> 

Finals weeks shows up and Kuroko feels really bad about dubbing Akashi all the time but he doubts Akashi really means all his complaints since he's always seeing Kuroko off with a smile on his face but how can he sit still when Aomine Daiki is taking him out to nice dates every other day.

He's finally happy with someone and he isn't an asshole. It makes him cry with happiness, really.

Kuroko looks at his appearance in the mirror one last time before fidgeting with his shirt again. He's wearing black jeans that hug his legs neatly and a really nice white dress shirt he didn't know he owned. Aomine had told him they would be going to a night club that night and he wanted to look his best. Akashi and him were not the biggest fans of night clubs. They were too lewd and loud for their taste and alcohol and him were not the biggest of friends.

Honestly, he's a little nervous but he trusts Aomine. He's known him for a little over three weeks but he's dedicated, loyal and extremely handsome. Maybe it was his looks or maybe his inviting personality but he had Kuroko hung on every word.

His phone buzzes, interrupting his thoughts.

_Aomine-kun_

_tetsu! Im outside ur flat cum out when ur ready <3_

 

Kuroko giggles at the heart emoji but grabs his wallet and keys before running out the door. He slows when he's in front of Akashi's door but realizes it's better if Akashi doesn't know-he would only try to stop him anways.

He smiles again when he sees Aomine's audi parked in front of the apartment.

"Hey," Aomine breathes, eyes wide when he takes in Kuroko. "You look good," he says, leaning over to kiss Kuroko's cheek _. Aah I feel like I'm going to melt_ , Kuroko thinks. "Thank you, Aomine-kun, you too," he says, his voice coming out soft.

"So this is 'tetsu', huh?" an unfamiliar voice speaks up and Kuroko turns around in his seat. He'd been too love-struck about Aomine to realize there were more people in the car. In the backseat sat three elder people Kuroko recognized from uni. They usually hung out in shady places and frankly, they didn't look like nice people. He laughs, nervously while glancing at Aomine who nods at him reassuringly.

"Relax, they're just friends," Aomine murmurs, eyes trailing up Kuroko's body in a manner that makes him feel more like an object rather than a person.

"So, Tetsu, did Aomine take you yet?" one of the men ask, he had thick eyebrows and menacing green eyes that scrutinized Kuroko even in the dim light of the car.

"I'm sorry? Aomine-kun takes me out in a lot of dates," Kuroko answers, a little confused.

The men in the back immediately burst into howls, clapping their knees. Their actions make the blue haired boy visibly uncomfortable but he stays quiet, waiting their response. Aomine keeps his eyes on the road.

"Dates? So that's what you call them now huh, Daiki. Is that what you called them when you were with Akira, or Noshiko?" another one laughs.

"Chill," Aomine calls back, but even he has a slight smile on his face. Kuroko feels uneasy now.

"We mean fuck, _Kuroko-kun_. Did Daiki fuck you yet?" the guy says, a lewd smile on his face. Kuroko feels awkward and uncomfortable in the car and the men in the back make it worse.

"No," he says, voice small and strained. The men continue laughing and Kuroko tries to make eye contact with Aomine but he looks straight ahead. He's quiet, ignoring the other men's questions until they reach the bar. He's the first one out, waiting by Aomine's side, reassured by the firm hand in his. His first mistake is thinking Aomine is a good guy because he shouldn't have trusted the guy who buys him the drinks.

Two shots in and Kuroko's half gone. He's dizzy and his stomach is doing somersaults. He feels the same way he did two years ago when he went to Japan's disneyland and went on the space coaster. His insides felt like someone was running through their finger through them and he groans, holding onto Aomine.

"Aomine-kun, I-I don't feel so good, Can we go home?" he shudders, eyes not focusing correctly in the low lighting.

"Relax, Tetsu, the fun is just starting," Aomine smirks, grabbing him and leading him further into the club. The pounding music isn't light; it's harsh and it feels like someone is battering his eardrums. He groans again, until Aomine puts a cup up to his lip and hands him a small pill. He can't see it correctly, his vision is making him see doubles.

"What is it?" he manages, weakly, dousing the pill. "Just some advil," Aomine says and Kuroko faintly hears laughing in the background before he's out.

>> 

Kuroko wakes up but doubles over in pain immediately because his stomach hurts like hell. His head has a dull ache and he briefly remembers last night. Flashes of people laughing, the feel of rough, unfamiliar hands on his legs and waist, drinks being handed to him forcefully. He remembers things he really doesn't want to. He realizes he's in Akashi's room when he sees the red-head on the floor. He briefly remembers Akashi in the club with him.

"Ah," he moans, bringing a hand to his temple. Just thinking about it makes his head throb. He manages to get up and walk out the room into the kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water and sits down in the table when he notices an orange bottle. He fingers it and reads the label. _rohypnol_.

Kuroko isn't stupid. He knows what date rape is. He struggles to hold in his tears but he can't help it. He tried so hard to be strong. In the end, it's always the same- spluttering like a _child_. It's gross and he hates himself. He hates himself so much.

He screams and cries and screams some more. Akashi is by his side at some moment and he holds him and rubs his shoulder, prying the bottle away from his hand.

"I tried to be strong, Akashi-kun," he cries into Akashi's arm. Akashi nods and blows onto his hair, rubbing through sticky strands of blue hair.

"It's okay to not be strong for awhile, Tetsuya," he murmurs and Kuroko is so grateful to have met Akashi. Akashi, who doesn't lie to him so he decides to not be strong for more, simply crying and exhausting himself in the red head's arm.

It takes some time for Kuroko to forget, even more for him to return as the same person he was but Kuroko isn't too sure how long that might last.

 

 

 

**3//**

It's a month later, when they're into their summer break does Akashi suggest visiting his home in Kyoto. At first, Kuroko is hesitant, he argues that Tokyo is much more cooler in the Summer but Akashi is persistent, promising him there are milkshakes made with real vanilla in Kyoto and that's what finally brings him in.

He packs little, two or three kimonos (akashi's pestering) some t-shirts and shorts and his necessities. He had boggled when Akashi had asked if they wanted to take his private plane, going after him across his flat with a stick of bamboo and instead they had decided to take the train. It was nice and most of the ride was spent with him napping on Akashi's shoulder.

He marvels at Akashi's house- no, mansion. It's huge and Akashi offers a tour which Kuroko respectfully declines, he doubts that he'd get through the house in the week they were planning to stay at.

Akashi's room is large and airy, windows that run the length of the wall. They make Kuroko feel small and he loves it. What he doesn't love is the heat wave happening in Kyoto at the moment.

"Akashi-kun, you promised this would be fun," Kuroko breathes, lying down on the cold, wooden floors. The floors are getting warmer due to Kuroko's body heat and he doesn't know how much longer he can stand it. He hears Akashi's annoyed huff from the king-sized bed and feels the air from the fan disappear. He lets out an annoyed groan and looks up from the floor.

Akashi smiles at him evilly from the bed, where the fan is facing. He huffs and plops down on top of Akashi, sighing in the blissful air.

"Sorry," Akashi says, looking down at Kuroko who's stretches alongside Akashi's lap. Kuroko cracks an eye open at Akashi, smiling. "Don't be sorry,"

He looks at Akashi's features clearly for the first time. His face is triangular, every part of his face chiseled to perfection. No. Akashi isn't perfect. No-one is. If he looks closer, he can see the eyes bags and wrinkles near his eyes, the rawness of his lips from chewing on them too many times, the scar near his chin from falling off a bike when he was younger. Kuroko smiles again. Akashi really is beautiful.

He lifts his head as the red-head swings his legs off the bed to head to the bathroom. Once Akashi disappears into the washroom, he sighs. He's never found the time to talk to Akashi about what happened that night at the club, ever since then Akashi had tried his hardest to help him through it. He never had the chance to thank him.

Quietly, he tiptoes out of the bed and in front of the bathroom.

"Akashi-kun?" he whispers, although he's not sure why. The entire mansion is empty, safe the maids and butlers who are all down in the first level. Akashi's parents are away at a business trip so technically it's really only the two of them alone in the house.

"Yeah?" Akashi's voice calls out not too long after. It comes out small and soft and Kuroko feels a motherly instinct to go inside and cuddle Akashi in his arms.

"I never really got around to it...but thank you," he says, fingers drawing circles on the bathroom door. He doesn't bother elaborating because they both know why he's thanking him. Akashi is quiet, but it's a nice type of silence.

"It's fine," his reply comes soon after. Kuroko smiles and walks away but he can't help but feel something was off.

 

 

**3//**

The start of their second year in college started slowly. Akashi stayed over at Kuroko's more often, not that Kuroko minded, Akashi always helped him study and also gave amazing back rubs so he kept Akashi around. And until just recently, Akashi had started calling him by his _given name._

_> > _

_"You should take a break, Tetsuya,"_

_Kuroko drops a plate into the sink, eyes wide as he turns around to Akashi, scoffing. His eyebrows raise._

_"What did you just call me?" He says, head cocked._

_"Tetsuya~," Akashi drawls, a smirk on his face. Kuroko feels heat rush to his cheeks so he turns away, immediately, steaming._

_"Alright then, Seijuro," He says, testing out the name in his mouth. With no reply from Akashi he turns around to find Akashi, absolutely steaming, face red. Seeing this, Kuroko gets more embarassed and he hides his face in his hands._

_"Akashi-kun..why is it the person who spoke so proufoundly before is now embarassed?" he whines._

_"Shut up"_

>> 

There were times when they would have study meets and Kuroko had to dig his nails in his palms not to squirm under Akashi's heated gaze.

Kuroko starts looking at Akashi more often too. Maybe it's because Akashi was going through another puberty at age 21, but he was getting more beautiful by the second. Every time they would walk through lunch, Kuroko would defend him from blushing college girls. Akashi would laugh but Kuroko knew that any girl (or guy) would steal Akashi from him in a heartbeat. It was truly platonic, he made himself think.

It's a sunny day when he meets the blonde.

"Akashi-kun, I'm going to buy a milkshake, save me a seat?" he asks Akashi at lunch. Akashi nods, face full with french fries- honestly it was getting to be a binge food for him- and Kuroko walks toward the cafeteria.

The university campus is alive with students passing by and chattering like magpies. It's a nice day so everyone is mainly outdoors eating. During the walk, Kuroko counts his change. _$4.30, $4.40....$4.41._ Kuroko internally groans, he was short 19 cents. _Just my luck_ , he thinks bitterly.

And he can't even go back to get more change because next to him, Akashi was probably the worst at keeping spare money on him. As expected from the wealthiest person on campus, he scoffs. He decides the best thing to do at the moment is to pray the lady at register will cut him some slack and let him off with $4.41. He smiles weakly and drops the coins and dollar bills on the counter. The lady gives him a suspicious look before counting the money.

She raises her eyebrows and opens her mouth to speak. _Damn!! How cruel!! How can she out me in front of all these people!!_

"I got it,"

Kuroko cracks an eye open to marvel at the tall _, incredibly hot_ , blonde that leans over and adds a quarter to his change. The lady raises another eyebrow, eyes the two of them but reluctantly hands the milkshake to Kuroko.

Kuroko decides to hang out until the blonde finishes his order before thanking him. He observes him while he's on line. He's tall- incredibly so for a Japanese person, and he has this incredibly familiar face-he looks like he belongs on the cover of a magazine - Kuroko's eyes widen. No kidding, he recognizes the blonde vigilante.

Kise Ryota was notorious as being a child model. He was always surrounded by paparazzi and girls alike, and here he was, offering to pay for Kuroko's artificial and very mediocre milkshake.

"Thank you," Kuroko says to Kise when he walks over. Kise smiles, brightening up. "It's no problem!," he holds out a hand, "I'm Kise Ryota!,"

"I know, Kise-kun," Kuroko says, taking his hand and immediately wanting to slap his face. _Now he thinks you're a creep!!_

"I'm Kuroko Tetsuya," he offers and they both walk out of the cafeteria. "Lunch ladies are so cruel, nowadays, huh Kurokocchi?" Kise speaks up.

Kuroko wrinkles his nose, Kurokocchi? "Yes, I suppose so,"

"Where are you sitting? I'll sit with you!,"

"Alright, I'm over there,"

"Aah, what a nice spot! You know this reminds me of something...."

>> 

"Hey, Kurokocchi, you should really think about having more than one air conditioner in your home," Kise groans, spread out on the floor of the bedroom. Kuroko's heart skips a beat when he peers down at Kise, who's sweaty and his shirt has ridden up to reveal a sharp hip bone.

"Too expensive," Kuroko says, holding out a cup of water to Kise. The blonde mumbles his thanks.

"Kurokocchi is too good for me," Kise says, holding an arm over his face. Kuroko feels his heart thump rapidly in his chest. He chuckles, nervously. He doesn't know how to tell Kise he likes him but he thinks today might be the right time.

"Kise-kun-," he starts, the same time Kise's phone rings. "Oh it's Kasamatsu-san, I have to take this, Kurokocchi, I'll be back!," he says, getting up and rushing out the room.

Kuroko nods, exhaling.

>> 

Kuroko doesn't know how long he's supposed to stay waiting for Akashi. The redhead had told him to wait for him in his flat for a study date but Kuroko had already been in the livingroom for about half an hour now. He sighs, scrolling through his phone, chuckling softly at texts Kise had sent him.

The opening of the front door had him nod his head toward the foyer, ready to give Akashi a piece of his mind when he notices who walks into the room. At first he sees Akashi but then he notices who's with him and his eyes widen, face heating up soon after because Akashi is currently having a _very  hot_ makeout session with Mayuzumi Chihiro from ethics. Kuroko doesn't know what to do because from the way Mayuzumi's hands are grabbing Akashi's ass, he has to do something quick before it leads to something worse.

He clears his throat, fidgeting with his fingers and immediately, Akashi rips himself away from the grey haired student. His eyes widen and he pushes Mayuzumi away from him. It's the most awkward silence ever and Kuroko has no idea what to say.

"S-sorry, I'll leave," he blurts out, making a beeline for the door.

"Wait, Kuroko, I'm sorry," Akashi says, startling him because why should Akashi be sorry? Kuroko feels like an idiot, he should be happy for his friend! Instead, he dashes out the door, closing it behind him to leave the two of them alone.

Once inside his own flat, he tries to open his textbooks and study but a strange peculiar feeling leaves him unable to focus. It's not anger-but more jealousy? Which is laughable, because why should he be jealous of Akashi? He doesn't even know Mayuzumi! Unless... Kuroko stops. He cant be jealous of...Mayuzumi? But for what reason, he's happy Akashi is dating someone! Maybe now in the near future they could double date. But for some odd reason that doesn't sound reassuring.

Three sharp knocks on his bedroom door rips him from his thoughts. "Yes?" he calls out.

The door opens and Akashi walks in, head down looking like a shameful puppy. Kuroko smiles at that.

Akashi plops down on the floor and grabs a Rilakkuma plushie and starts to coddle it. “Listen, I’m really sorry you were there during that…incident. I broke up with him so-," Kuroko breaks his sentence by throwing a pillow at him. _How dare he?_

"Hey!," Akashi frowns but Kuroko levels him with a glare. Why is Akashi throwing away an opportunity for him? He can't believe this guy.

“How could you Akashi-kun? Why are you so selfless?" Kuroko starts, clenching his hands into fists, "You’re not giving yourself a chance to be happy. I don’t want you to stick nagging over me, I want you to grow up and get married and be happy okay!” He's so mad at Akashi, his face is going red. He's in the right mind to go find Mayuzumi and bring him back to Akashi's flat but one look from Akashi stops him. Why does he look so _heartbroken?_

“You think I’m nagging over you?” he starts, quietly. Kuroko bites his tongue. That might have come out harsh. “No- wait, I don’t-,”

“Kuroko, everything I’ve ever done, I do for you,” Akashi says making eye contact with Kuroko and Kuroko thinks he could die right there because why does Akashi look so helpless?  There's a deep pain hidden in his scarlet irises and it hurts to even look at Akashi right now so he opts for silence.

“Give him a chance, Akashi-kun. Even if he’s not the one, there are more fish in the sea,” he says, trying to change the mood because he's never seen Akashi look this lost before. Akashi nods before leaving the room.

He remembers Akashi telling him one night that he only ever smokes when he feels like his life is falling apart so with that in mind, Kuroko can't sleep because the smell of smoke from next door keeps him up physically and emotionally.

>> 

There's no apologies in their fights so they remain normal, no talk about the previous night. Kuroko doesn't question Akashi about Mayuzumi, making him think it was more of a one time thing (which for some reason makes Kuroko happy).

Him and Kise have a weird thing happening. They act more and more like him and Akashi and Kuroko has yet to grow a pair and tell Kise he likes him.

He's in the kitchen taking the cookies out of the oven and humming a Korean song he's heard lately. It's miss A and he has yet to find another artist he can invest in so easily. He can hear Kise and Akashi speaking from the livingroom and he smiles to himself. While the cookies are still hot, he piles them onto the plate and walks to the livingroom but stops when he hears his name in the conversation.

“So, Kise, Kuroko’s nice right?” he hears Akashi say and Kuroko chuckles softly, waiting for Kise's response.

“Kurokocchi is _soo_ nice! Like how today we were at the café and he offered to pay for our food, but of course I was like ‘No way Kurokocchi! I can pay for us’ and then he blushed it was so cute,”he gushes and Kuroko blushes, despite himself. He hears the familiar ringtone of Kise's phone and listens as Kise talks on the phone.

“Hi, Kasamatsu-san! - Yeah I’m fine…ooh tonight? Yes!- love you too bye!,” he says and Kuroko feels himself shatter into a million pieces. He feels like his mind is 5 steps behind his body's movements.

“Kise was that your boy-“ Kuroko walks into the room, plastering on the fakest smile he can.

"I made cookies for all of us!," he says, forcing the lump in his throat to go away. He sits down next to Kise and his fingers are shaking. He almost wants to laugh because he's been played this entire time. It hurts so bad he feels dizzy. He looks at Akashi who looks at him with the all mighty I-told-you-so look. He looks away as fast as he can toward Kise. He feels tears prick his eyes but he blinks them away in favor of smiling at Kise.

He holds it in when Kise talks and even when he takes another call from Kasamatsu. When Kise's at the door and Kuroko says his farewells he turns to Akashi, lips shaking.

"I heard," and it disgusts him that his voice, even after all this time, comes out rough and harsh. Akashi nods and Kuroko slides down onto the kitchen floor, putting his face into his hands and shaking his head. He's so tired. Why can't he find happiness?

“Am I incapable of finding love?” he says, straining his voice. Akashi shakes his head. Maybe he is. Maybe it's because he's so dull and boring that everyone doesn't find any interest in him and leaves him.  “Am I ugly?” Akashi shakes his head. No, maybe he is. “Am I not good enough?” he says, the tears finally finding their way onto his face.

"There are more fish in the sea," he hears Akashi say but Kuroko hides himself from Akashi, he wants to be alone for tonight.

 

 

**4//**

There's a boy that sits on the other side of the outdoor lunch tables that keeps looking at Kuroko. If Kuroko recalls, his name is Ogiwara Shigehiro and just about the friendliest guy ever. Not to mention he is very cute.

 “Well? Aren’t you going to talk to him?” Akashi says, flicking Kuroko across the forehead. Kuroko whines, glaring at Akashi and feeling a strange flutter across his stomach when he notices Akashi's smile. There's bits of onigiri on the side of his mouth so Kuroko unconsciously leans over and gently brushes Akashi's lips. It's a familiar gesture but somehow now, his heart beats 500 a second and have Akashi's lips ever been this soft. Slowly though, realization hits and he blushes, leaning back. "Sorry," he mumbles.

Akashi still has a startled look on his face so Kuroko looks away to save himself from further embarrassment.

“I just think he’s cute…I know nothing about him,” he mutters, finding Ogiwara in the distance, laughing to his friends.

“Just go up to him, you’ll never know someone if you don’t talk to them.” Akashi says, his voice sounds strain and he wonders if Akashi is telling him the truth nowadays. He nods, numbly and gets up toward Ogiwara. It dawns on him that this is almost routine to him. It's probably worse for Akashi to know his best friend keeps falling in and out of love every single god damn day. Kuroko instinctively clenches his fists together. He needs to stop these silly feelings for Akashi and try to make the both of them happy through Ogiwara.

"Hey, Ogiwara-kun. Do you mind if I sit here?"

>> 

"Ne, Kuro-chin, what if Aka-chin likes you though?" Murasakibara says lazily on the floor of Kuroko's room. Kuroko's exhausted, he's just told Murasakibara every single thing that happened to him since their first year of college and the purple haired giant was all ears to him.

"Not possible," Kuroko replies, instantaneously. His fingers start to fidget even more. "Oh god, Murasakibara-kun, only you're able to get all deep with me"

"Yep~," Murasakibara drawls. "But anyways, Aka-chin always looks at Kuro-chin like how I look at my maibo."

Kuroko runs his hands over the Rilakkuma in his hands. "I wish," he mutters, soft enough so that Murasakibara can't hear him but loud enough so that Kuroko can hear himself say it.

>> 

It's been two months and Kuroko is not happy. Ogiwara gives him the world but he can't be happy with it. His kisses don't light a fire in him like they did with Aomine or Kagami, in fact, he thinks he might have been happier with the two of them. He knows why he's not happy and he tries _so_ hard to not believe it because it's not possible.

Because every time Ogiwara smiles at him, he sees Akashi's half smile. Every time Ogiwara touches him, he yearns for Akashi's warm hands. And whenever Ogiwara kisses him, he wishes, just for a second, that they were Akashi's lips instead. It has him thinking things he had never thought about his red haired neighbor before.

He hides the feelings and stores them away, deep inside. He goes out with Ogiwara more and he feels terrible, a huge sting when he sees Akashi waving them off because he knows he's hurting him even more. It's a terrible and unhealthy relationship he has with Ogiwara but he needs it.

"Oi, Kuroko you're zoning out," Ogiwara says flicking him across the forehead. Kuroko narrows his eyes at him. "Stop that," he snaps, slapping his hand away. Ogiwara smiles at him, hand going up to caress his jaw and Kuroko's heart _hurts_ because he wishes that it was Akashi instead.

>> 

The first time Kuroko has sex is not like what they describe in the movies. It wasn't romantic nor was it pure ecstasy.

 _It hurts,_ he had thought when he felt Ogiwara inside him. _It hurts It hurts It hurts._

It doesn't get any better after that so he squeezes his eyes shut, keeping out the tears pricking them and pulls Ogiwara into his neck because all he's thinking is _Akashi-kun Akashi-kun Akashi-kun._

>> 

"I lost my virginity yesterday," Kuroko says, feeling the ache of his heart again. Akashi looks at him, eyes etched with pure sadness and looks away. Kuroko digs his nails into his palm so hard they leave crescent-shaped marks.

"That's great, he didn't hurt you did he?" Akashi says, not even trying to hide the fakeness and Kuroko wonders how much he hurts.

"No, it was fine," he lies. _It was fucking horrible._ God, he can't physically _take_ it anymore. He can't take Akashi who looks like a sad broken puppy every time Kuroko comes home with a new boyfriend. He can't take the sadness he feels when he's with someone and he wishes it was Akashi instead. He can't take away that he _loves_ Akashi.

"Akashi-kun, I want to break up with him," he says at last, voice filling up with emotion. _Tell him tell him tell him._

"Kuroko, why? You're happy with him. You've been the happiest with him," Akashi says, but Kuroko doesn't miss the waver in his voice.

“I know, it’s ridiculous and Ogiwara-kun is amazing but- I’m not happy,” Kuroko says, pulling his knees to his chest. He sounds like a dick right now, stomping over everyones feelings. Maybe this is why everyone keeps leaving him.

 _“How can you be so selfish?”_ Akashi snaps at him and Kuroko's eyes widen because he sounds so angry.

“Don’t you know there are people who care about you? That there are people who want to see you happy? How could you let them down?” Akashi says so hurtfully that Kuroko can't retaliate.

"I know, but I don't think he's the one," he mumbles instead, unable to look at Akashi.

Akashi is quiet and Kuroko feels an involuntary lump rise to his throat. _Don't cry now, you baby._

"You're a real heartbreaker, Kuroko Tetsuya," Akashi says bitterly, voice heavy with emotion. As soon as Akashi leaves, Kuroko collapses on his bed and _dies._ Sob after sob leaves his mouth, hands going up to grab at his chest. _Why does it hurt so much?_ His eyes throb after he’s done, leaving the aftermath of a storm in it’s’ wake. It’s dawned on him that it’s the first time Akashi hasn’t held him through a heartbreak.  

>> 

Kuroko dreams that someone is pushing him. It’s persistent and soon his eyelids flutter open to find Akashi’s red ones staring at him. He immediately gets up, eyes wide, but soon he looks away, feeling small. “I feel like shit, Tetsuya,” Akashi murmurs, looking downcast. Kuroko’s heart opens up to him and he moves over in bed to give room to Akashi.

He holds the red-head to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut. Akashi’s arms wrap around his waist and their legs are tangled in a messy heap. He feels warm and secure but his heart is throbbing away.

“I’m really sorry for today. I’ve been a terrible person to you, I always take you for granted and I’m so sorry if I’ve ever made you feel bad,” he whispers, taking his time to run his fingers through Akashi’s hair. It’s soft and smells of the expensive cologne he wears, pungent of leather and new books. Akashi nuzzles at Kuroko’s throat, sighing and Kuroko feels like his heart might explode. His arms instinctively wrap tighter around Akashi’s.

“Akashi-kun has such nice hair,” Kuroko sighs. He wishes he could stay like this forever. He wants to wake up with Akashi every day. Right now, he’s lost in the bliss and warmth of Akashi’s arms.

“You’re a really good friend, Seijuro,” Kuroko says, feeling his lips twitch. _I love you._ He closes his eyes, letting sleep overtake him.

>> 

“Ogiwara-kun, It just isn’t working out,”

“…”

“I’m really sorry, hopefully you will find someone better than me in the near future,”

“It’s that Akashi guy isn’t it?”

“What…are you talking about,”

“I can see It whenever you’re talking about him, Kuroko, you’d never look at me like that,”

“Yeah. I’m sorry Ogiwara-kun,”

“I’m going to miss you, Kuroko but Akashi will treat you right,”

“Thank you and goodbye,”

 

 

**5//**

Senior year of college starts hectic, with graduation just around the corner and the time for Akashi to finally be an adult with degrees, and he can take on his family business. Him and Kuroko have rarely seen each other in the last few months, what with tests to study for and Kuroko taking up several part time jobs. _Tetsuya,_ Akashi thinks as he walks to the café. He was never going to give up his love for him. There were times when Akashi had thought to himself that him and Kuroko was all but a dream but he’s decided he doesn’t want that. He wants to be with Kuroko.

It’s late, almost 11 when Akashi silently walks through the doors of the café. It’s a local coffee shop, and serves mostly college students and local middle schoolers. He whistles softly and looks around for Kuroko and wonders if it’s the right café because it’s totally vacant.

He walks toward the cashier and smiles warmly at the sight. Kuroko, in his silly apron, dozed off on the counter. He moves to flick the sleeping boy but stops, admiring Kuroko like this He looks vulnerable and at ease, something Akashi hasn’t seen in so long. In the end, he taps the soft blue hair and watches, amuse as he comes back to life.

“Yes! How can I help you!,” he says loudly as Akashi laughs. Kuroko has gotten so beautiful over the past few months. His big blue eyes don’t take up most of the space on his face anymore so he looks older, more mature. His cheeks are rosy, and his skin is the same milky pale it has always been. His hair, which Akashi had been pestering f _or ages,_ is long and  curls right below his ears.

“Aaaaah, Akashi-kun, have you come to pick me up from my despair,” Kuroko says, smiling and working at the register. Akashi feels his heart flutter. _If only you’d do me the honor._ “I actually came to order a drink, but I can work with that too,” he jokes and Kuroko leans over the register to flick him across the forehead but Akashi had already predicted that so now they’re lips are a millimeter away from each other. Akashi’s eyes fall down to Kuroko’s pink lips and he feels his face heat up when a pink tongue darts out from Kuroko’s mouth to wet his lips.

He leans back, laughing nervously and Kuroko does so too. Akashi looks away, tapping his feet nervously. It’s awkward a little so he orders a lemonade to try to bring up a conversation.

“How do you come into a coffee shop and order a lemonade,” Kuroko murmurs. “I do what I like!” Akashi yells from his seat, smiling already. He wonders what it would feel like going up to Kuroko right now and kiss him. How it would feel to pick him up from work every day, greeting him with a kiss, buying him dinner, taking him back to his- no _their_ home.

“Sh! Keep it down, this place echoes,” Kuroko says, shooting him a playful glare. Akashi smirks, taking a deep breath and belting out the opening to one of his favorite animes. He’s loud and his voice cracks but it’s worth it when he peeks to see Kuroko hunched over, laughing, a pretty pink blush decorating his cheeks.

Kuroko joins him in on the second chorus as he plops down on the seat across from him with two lemonades. “Are you gonna charge yourself for that?” Akashi asks, gesturing to the free drink he made for himself. “It’s on the house,” Kuroko smiles, sipping at the sour beverage. Akashi takes a sip of his own, smiling at Kuroko. He wish he could overdose on Kuroko’s smiles. It would be the best way out, he thinks.

“How’s economics?” Kuroko asks. Akashi makes a face. He doesn’t really want to think about college right now. “Horrible, but I’m at the top of my class so its whatever,” he shrugs playfully. Kuroko giggles. “You’re so conceited,” he says, slapping at Akashi’s hand. And it’s at that moment when something in Akashi decides to take a risk and grab Kuroko’s hand. He feels Kuroko tense and relax and Akashi takes a moment to mend their fingers together, awed at how nice it feels to have Kuroko’s slim fingers together with his long ones.

“Akash-kun,” Kuroko starts, voice shaky and Akashi’s heart is beating so fast, he’s scared he’s going to die of a heart attack by the time he gets to talk. “Tetsuya, you know what to call me,” he says, swallowing. He’s _so fucking scared._

“Seijuro-kun,” he says again, voice strained. Akashi looks at him, eyes wide and he can’t ever deny that he loves this man with his entire being. Kuroko, who changed Akashi for the better. Kuroko with his open heart and arms. Kuroko who was the only person to make Akashi smile since forever. Kuroko, who Akashi has loved since the first day they met.

“I love you,”

The words come out of Kuroko’s mouth, sending a never ending wave of pleasure down Akashi’s spine. It’s as if those words are a sign but he can’t move, his body is shaking and his eyes are wide, staring at Kuroko not sure if this is a dream or reality. Kuroko is crying, holding a hand over his eyes, face scrunched up and trembling.

“Oh  _God,_ It’s always been you, hasn’t it? Since that very first day, Ak-  _Seijuro._ You were always there,” His voice is wobbling and his chest is heaving. Akashi pulls Kuroko into his arms, feeling the first sting of tears in his eyes because _yes, he has._ “I love you, Tetsuya,” he gasps, “God, I love you so much,”

He pulls back away from Kuroko, so that their foreheads bump against each other. Kuroko is crying, still, loud sobs ripping from his throat, one hand reaching up to cup Akashi’s cheek. Akashi takes in a shaky breath because there is a huge lump in his throat and it’s not going to go away any time soon. He takes his hands and rubs away Kuroko’s tears, caressing his jaw.

“I love you,” he says once more before leaning in to Kuroko’s mouth. Their lips are wet and he tastes salty tears but their mouths move together, Kuroko angling his head so that Akashi can get better leverage. “I love you, I love you,” Kuroko says in between kisses. They pull away, both of them panting. Akashi’s heart is beating in his chest, throat and head. He’s so dizzy with love he can’t think correctly.

Kuroko breaks the silence first, giggling before turning into full out laughter and since Akashi is currently drunk on Kuroko’s happiness he joins in, pulling Kuroko back into his arms and laughing some more. Pretty soon the laughter turns back into more crying but it’s perfect and Akashi feels like the happiest man on Earth.

 

 

**_//5 years later//_ **

Akashi’s arms hoist Kuroko up, lips still hungrily on Kuroko’s mouth, and drops him onto the bed. “Aah, Seijuro, shouldn’t we,” Kuroko says stealing more kisses from Akashi, “save this for later,”

Akashi’s hands are everywhere, unbuttoning Kuroko’s shirt, pulling at his hair and cupping his groin, relinquishing the sweet moans that come out of Kuroko’s mouth.

“Can’t wait,” he replies, smirking before attacking Kuroko’s mouth. He makes quick work of Kuroko’s pants before his hands-

“ _Couldn’t you guys wait until after you got married?”_

Akashi squints at the light being turned on before Kuroko squeals and grabs a blanket to throw over them.

Momoi stands in the doorway, angry and hands on her hips. She marches over to the bed and grabs a red faced Kuroko by her side.

“Now, I’m bringing Tetsu-kun with me and you two are _not_ allowed to see each other until _after_ the wedding,” she says, glaring at Akashi who laughs, blowing a kiss at Kuroko.

Kuroko laughs back, being pulled away by Momoi. “I love you, Seijuro,” he says, smiling.

“I love you too,” Akashi smiles back before sighing and falling back onto the bed thinking about their wedding day until he realizes he’s still stuck – with no fiancé-  and with a raging hard boner.

“ _Fuck.”_

 

**_Fin._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of my fave headcanons that i added into this story ^~^  
> -akashi and kuroko still have stuffed animals and they especially love pokemons and cute little hello kittys or rilakkumas!!  
> \- kuroko loves kpop and girl bands ( aaah miss A i just had to include them in this they are my FAVORITE kpop group ever!! next to bts:))  
> -AKASHI LITTLE SPOON YASSSS i love big spoon akashi too but hey big spoon kuroko is also A+++

**Author's Note:**

> AAHHH i might write a part 5 with Akashi's point of view in the last part instead of Kuroko's :)  
> comments are recommended:~)


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